The Inadequate Mother's Blog

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One of “THOSE” days……….

Yes, it was one of “THOSE” mornings at my house.  I started behind from the moment I rolled out of bed.  I was greeted with a bad hair day and a planned outfit whose components mysteriously disappeared.  Then it grew…. kitchen accidents that required a new outfit after the first one had finally been put together; my “star” of the week at school didn’t have his special love letter or story from his parents. And GREW…..hap-hazardly written at the last moment love letter to star; kids dropped off tardy at school, rain on my flat ironed hair turning it to a frizzy, half-curly, even worse bad hair day; crazy quantities of traffic; late to morning meetings at work. ( To keep my blood-pressure down as I type I’m leaving many items off the list)  Yes, this morning I was feeling 100% “The Inadequate Mother” and swiftly on my way to “Crazy Rage-Filled Mother”.  It was one of those mornings when you put on the most mellow radio station you can find and pray for songs that will fill you with Grace and peace and love…. only to realize that still won’t put you in a better place and keep you from wanting to turn your mini-van into a primal scream therapy room.

So, in my desperation to calm down and put myself in a better place before talking to clients, I checked out Facebook.  A friend has posted a blog entry about the “Sneaky Hate Spiral”.  Oh my goodness!  I laughed so hard I cried.  It totally summed up this morning and many others.  Thankfully the “Sneaky Hate Spiral” has completely knocked me out of mine.  I share this hilarious blog with you just in case you too are having one of “THOSE” mornings.  Enjoy: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html

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Most of these items are words of wisdom I know I’ve heard from my Mom. However, as simple as they are it can be difficult to take them to heart or put them into action.  I hope reading them is a useful exercise and reminder.

Daily Health Boost

Today’s Inspiration: dumblittleman.com

 

“This article made me curious, and it points out some good ideas. I hope that some of these will open your eyes! “
~Sophie

 

8 Harsh Truths that Will Improve Your Life

 

Eye

They say life is what we make of it. By the end of this post, I hope to have helped you decide whether that statement is true or not.

There is no doubt that life has its ups and downs. However, how we deal with them can sometimes make all the difference. Today I want to share eight harsh truths that I’ve come to learn from life. There’s also a message in each that I think we can all learn from, and when applied, will improve our lives infinitely.

Some of these lessons may be old-hat for you. If so, look for ways to refine the idea to ensure your getting the…

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8 Dangers of Diet Soda

8 Dangers of Diet Soda.  A great post.  Something I know and yet have to keep reminding myself of… Diet Coke is just so darn wonderful in a crack like sorta way.

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Moms, We Can All Relate!

Moms, We Can All Relate!.  I read this today and LOVED it.  Had to share!

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Just another manic Monday…

This morning started off with a bang.  I woke up at 4:30 am having a panic attack.  So many things to worry about, I must need to wake up extra early to get them all in.  Wouldn’t be too terrible if it weren’t for the fact that daylight savings was yesterday so it was really 3:30.  I tried to fight it for a while but realized that was silly.  Got up and started getting ready for work.  My heart was racing like I was running for my life but my head was in a fog.

Shower- check; hair-check; partial make-up on- check; okay time to start waking kids.  My oldest first.  He barely rouses.  I crack his blinds to let some light in.  We talk, I move on.  Baby crying down the hall.  Go in and he says he needs a bath, that he hurts.  Hmmm… doesn’t sound promising.  “Hold me, I need a bath.”  Poor sweet baby doll.  I tell him I need to wake up his sister first.  “Allright” and he cuddles into my side as I go about my rounds.  Middle child, again it’s like trying to wake the dead.  Evidently I’m the only one with a panic disorder this morning.  Back to the oldest.  He’s out like a light again.  Wake him up and set down baby boy so I can grab the loaf of bread out of the bread machine.  The recipe I used called for what I think is too much  yeast.  The loaf looks like a chef hat.  Delicious yes, handy for sandwiches, no.  Great.

Bath is still being requested so I re-cuddle little man into my side and go off to find my husband so that I have a second pair of hands.  He two is suffering from Daylight Savings Spring Ahead.  I think he sprung into a wall because he’s incoherent and he kinked his neck in the night.  Back to baby girl, she is at least awake but not getting out of bed.  Back to the oldest, he’s sound asleep again.  In the meantime my poor patient little boy is cuddling and asking telling me he “needs” a bath.  Husband stumbles out and offers to trade bath for me making coffee and finally little man is on his way to the water.

Breakfast for two, start to pack lunches, coffee, snack for baby girl’s snack time.  I get called away to grab a towel for my bath boy.  He’s still not acting right but I try not to worry and focus on getting everyone ready to go out the door.  I have a client this morning so I need to make sure I look put together.  I finish my make-up, inspect the baby’s mouth which he says hurts, set him up in my bed to watch a little TV  and throw some clothes on.  My daughter is still changing outfits and it’s time to be in the car.  I’m just grabbing my laptop and Blackberry from the nightstand when the baby who is on my bed starts throwing up.  It’s everywhere.  All over him, all over his special blankets, all over my comfoter.  Great.  Thankfully it’s my husband’s day off.  (at least I’m thankful, I don’t know how he felt about it right then)  Back to the bath, blankets in the wash, bedroom sprayed with a liberal quantity of Lysol and then I blow them kisses and hustle the older two out to the car.  My poor husband who cannot turn his kinked neck and the puking baby left to fend for themselves.

I console myself with the fact that at least I still have a fighting chance of getting the kids to their schools on time and try to tell myself that I’m not a horrible mom for leaving my sick baby.  Drop offs go smoothly, traffic isn’t so bad, I still feel like I have a racehorse in my chest but maybe today will turn around.  Get to the office, visit with my co-workers.  It’s all good. I know I look ok, I don’t think I have any barf on me.. ahhhhh…. 

Client’s arrive and they are so excited when they see me because I’m “PREGNANT AGAIN! ” But no- I’m not…. I’m just fat.  So after that awkward moment they ask about the scar on my chest where I had malignant melanoma removed in October.  “WOW- they really butchered you!”  Great, I’m a fat pregnant looking woman with a butchered scar.  Yeah me!  Glad I took the time to try to look presentable.  This is shaping up to be a stellar day and it’s only 10 am.

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Revise the Saturday List

Well the morning is progressing. Add: random calls from clients about 20-year-old alcohol; and cleaning purple marker off the dining room wall and two-year old. Oh- and of course breaking up fights due to the middle child waking up and her brother asking her to help him clean up a mess they made.

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Ahhhh…..Saturday

Yes, it’s Saturday.  I used to love Saturdays but now it ranks somewhere near 7th in my list of days. 

To my kids Saturday should be fun and action packed.  Ideally to me it would be as well.  However the reality is that Saturday is that day that I try to pack all the things I couldn’t get done during the week into.  My husband works Saturdays and then has Sundays off.  As a result I feel like I should get all household chores and errands done on Saturday so that Sunday can be more of a fun family day.  Due to my status as the Inadequate Mother, I usually fall short of this goal.

Saturday is the day I try and sleep in a bit, to be greeted by a house that looks like it was ransacked.   It seriously looks like someone came in, wearing very dirty boots and upended the place.  The kids, while I make them help, are less than perfect in the cleaning department and often greet Saturday chores with a huge amount of disdain.  My middle child is vocal with her disdain.  Whines, cries, picks fights with her brothers.  It’s lovely.  My eldest child just moves as though his veins are filled with molasses.  Sometimes I actually look for the slug trail behind him.  It’s downright painful to watch.  The youngest loves to pick up but he’s two.  So as quickly as he picks it up, he pulls two more things back out.  Painful to watch as well.  But I digress.  Perhaps a to-do list would get me going.

1. Finish cleaning the kitchen.  Right now it’s “husband clean”, I’d like it “visitor clean”.

2. Bathrooms, glove up, chemical up and try to scrub the “rest stop” look out of them.

3. De-clutter and dust.  Sounds simple enough but you haven’t seen this place.

4. Floors.  Hard floors and carpet both need attention.  I did a sweep last night to prep for this but you’d never know it.

5. The Wreck-Room.  No, I know most people spell it Rec Room.  Rec just doesn’t do it justice though.

6. Find decor for my Mother’s 60th Birthday Party.

7. Help my sister find wedding accessories and decor.

8. Clean myself up.

9. Figure out dinner and get it going.  Tonight is a rare event… I’m actually going out with my husband.  Pretty cool, yet it shortens the work day.

10. Work on taxes of three people.  Need to do mine too but that’s a whole other story.

11.  Laundry…. there is always laundry.

12.  The yard.  To be fair, this is always on the list.  It’s a huge project that we’re trying to do in baby steps.  I am truly Inadequate in this department.  I dream of the day it starts looking beautiful and not like we’re the white trash family on the block. 

13.  Monitor the homework progress of my oldest.  He was sick for a week and the trimester ends this week.  As a result he has an unreal amount of homework on top of a normal week of unreal quantities of homework.  He is an amazing and intelligent child, however he is easily distracted and time management is not something he has mastered.

14.  Plan a couple of fun tasks for the kiddos so they don’t revolt.  If the sun doesn’t get drown out I’m sure there will be multiple requests to go to the park too.

Hmmm… that doesn’t look so bad…  It’s only 9:40 now, I’m sure I can tackle all this by 5.

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Hello world- am I alone?

Today was the day where I snapped and now here I am on a blog site.

It was a day much like any other except I checked my son’s school newsletter to see what time an afterschool function was. While trying to find the information, there was a list thanking all the parents who had helped with the most recent fundraiser for the school. “That’s nice” I thought as I looked down the list of names. It was a big list too! We have so many wonderful families doing so much for this tiny private school. Probably a half of the parents at the school were listed. But wait, where was our family? I looked again, and again, different names? Nope- not there. We donated a bunch of items and spent the better part of five days working on getting them organized and listed for the project. Nope- we’re not on there.

Part of me thinks- no biggie, who cares, I didn’t do it to see our name listed in the newsletter. The other part of me though is stuck on the fact that the person who organized the even dismissed me in an email the other day and this feels like an intentional snubbing. Frustrating as the time spent to do the work for this project really had to be carved out.  Laundry didn’t get done, rooms didn’t get cleaned, sleep was missed, any working parent knows what I’m talking about.

 Am I paranoid? Am I stuck thinking about something meaningless? Probably.. However this is just the latest in a decade long+ string of events that demonstrates to me that for whatever reason I don’t fit in with the “PTA Mothers” and they aren’t going to let me forget it. I don’t know what gene you have to be born with to get into the inner circle of school acceptance but I seriously don’t have it. I forever am on the outside looking in. Not included in parking lot conversations, not invited to participate, having volunteer hours ignored and unappreciated. I simply am out of sync with the rest of them mom’s. I try to let it roll off my back but it seriously makes me crazy. I try really hard to be involved in things my kids love. With three children spaced five years apart, I can’t always give unlimited hours but I try. What am I doing wrong?

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