The Inadequate Mother's Blog

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Just another manic Monday…

on March 15, 2010

This morning started off with a bang.  I woke up at 4:30 am having a panic attack.  So many things to worry about, I must need to wake up extra early to get them all in.  Wouldn’t be too terrible if it weren’t for the fact that daylight savings was yesterday so it was really 3:30.  I tried to fight it for a while but realized that was silly.  Got up and started getting ready for work.  My heart was racing like I was running for my life but my head was in a fog.

Shower- check; hair-check; partial make-up on- check; okay time to start waking kids.  My oldest first.  He barely rouses.  I crack his blinds to let some light in.  We talk, I move on.  Baby crying down the hall.  Go in and he says he needs a bath, that he hurts.  Hmmm… doesn’t sound promising.  “Hold me, I need a bath.”  Poor sweet baby doll.  I tell him I need to wake up his sister first.  “Allright” and he cuddles into my side as I go about my rounds.  Middle child, again it’s like trying to wake the dead.  Evidently I’m the only one with a panic disorder this morning.  Back to the oldest.  He’s out like a light again.  Wake him up and set down baby boy so I can grab the loaf of bread out of the bread machine.  The recipe I used called for what I think is too much  yeast.  The loaf looks like a chef hat.  Delicious yes, handy for sandwiches, no.  Great.

Bath is still being requested so I re-cuddle little man into my side and go off to find my husband so that I have a second pair of hands.  He two is suffering from Daylight Savings Spring Ahead.  I think he sprung into a wall because he’s incoherent and he kinked his neck in the night.  Back to baby girl, she is at least awake but not getting out of bed.  Back to the oldest, he’s sound asleep again.  In the meantime my poor patient little boy is cuddling and asking telling me he “needs” a bath.  Husband stumbles out and offers to trade bath for me making coffee and finally little man is on his way to the water.

Breakfast for two, start to pack lunches, coffee, snack for baby girl’s snack time.  I get called away to grab a towel for my bath boy.  He’s still not acting right but I try not to worry and focus on getting everyone ready to go out the door.  I have a client this morning so I need to make sure I look put together.  I finish my make-up, inspect the baby’s mouth which he says hurts, set him up in my bed to watch a little TV  and throw some clothes on.  My daughter is still changing outfits and it’s time to be in the car.  I’m just grabbing my laptop and Blackberry from the nightstand when the baby who is on my bed starts throwing up.  It’s everywhere.  All over him, all over his special blankets, all over my comfoter.  Great.  Thankfully it’s my husband’s day off.  (at least I’m thankful, I don’t know how he felt about it right then)  Back to the bath, blankets in the wash, bedroom sprayed with a liberal quantity of Lysol and then I blow them kisses and hustle the older two out to the car.  My poor husband who cannot turn his kinked neck and the puking baby left to fend for themselves.

I console myself with the fact that at least I still have a fighting chance of getting the kids to their schools on time and try to tell myself that I’m not a horrible mom for leaving my sick baby.  Drop offs go smoothly, traffic isn’t so bad, I still feel like I have a racehorse in my chest but maybe today will turn around.  Get to the office, visit with my co-workers.  It’s all good. I know I look ok, I don’t think I have any barf on me.. ahhhhh…. 

Client’s arrive and they are so excited when they see me because I’m “PREGNANT AGAIN! ” But no- I’m not…. I’m just fat.  So after that awkward moment they ask about the scar on my chest where I had malignant melanoma removed in October.  “WOW- they really butchered you!”  Great, I’m a fat pregnant looking woman with a butchered scar.  Yeah me!  Glad I took the time to try to look presentable.  This is shaping up to be a stellar day and it’s only 10 am.

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