The Inadequate Mother's Blog

Just another weblog

Hello world- am I alone?

on March 12, 2010

Today was the day where I snapped and now here I am on a blog site.

It was a day much like any other except I checked my son’s school newsletter to see what time an afterschool function was. While trying to find the information, there was a list thanking all the parents who had helped with the most recent fundraiser for the school. “That’s nice” I thought as I looked down the list of names. It was a big list too! We have so many wonderful families doing so much for this tiny private school. Probably a half of the parents at the school were listed. But wait, where was our family? I looked again, and again, different names? Nope- not there. We donated a bunch of items and spent the better part of five days working on getting them organized and listed for the project. Nope- we’re not on there.

Part of me thinks- no biggie, who cares, I didn’t do it to see our name listed in the newsletter. The other part of me though is stuck on the fact that the person who organized the even dismissed me in an email the other day and this feels like an intentional snubbing. Frustrating as the time spent to do the work for this project really had to be carved out.  Laundry didn’t get done, rooms didn’t get cleaned, sleep was missed, any working parent knows what I’m talking about.

 Am I paranoid? Am I stuck thinking about something meaningless? Probably.. However this is just the latest in a decade long+ string of events that demonstrates to me that for whatever reason I don’t fit in with the “PTA Mothers” and they aren’t going to let me forget it. I don’t know what gene you have to be born with to get into the inner circle of school acceptance but I seriously don’t have it. I forever am on the outside looking in. Not included in parking lot conversations, not invited to participate, having volunteer hours ignored and unappreciated. I simply am out of sync with the rest of them mom’s. I try to let it roll off my back but it seriously makes me crazy. I try really hard to be involved in things my kids love. With three children spaced five years apart, I can’t always give unlimited hours but I try. What am I doing wrong?


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